I was growing very wary of the Beatles. I liked the guys and the music and everything that came with it but my heart wasn't in it like it was in my art. Paul really didn't like me much and I could sense that John could no longer protect me to stay in anymore. I had to tell them myself I was ready to go. I figured I'll stick around here, do the shows and just not return to Liverpool with them. Astrid and I were going well.

But Pete. Fuck.

We had been sleeping around for a while now and so far no suspicions have occured. I didn't know how he would take the news of me leaving.

"Hey, Pete." I said walking into our make-shift bedroom.  "Could I talk to you for a tick?"

The guys and I had just finished playing a show and we were all knackered. Paul was being chatted up by a blonde bird in the corner while John helped himself to two brunettes. He was never one to be shy with women. That left Pete and I.

I sat at the bar, brainstorming some ideas for some new art projects of mine while Pete sat to the right of me, mirroring my choice of drink. German beer. We had been a little more careful this time around, considering that Paul and Pete were deported for being arseholes. I was glad we were back though. I missed Astrid and strangely enough, I found comfort in Pete's company.

"How's your beer?" I asked, just trying to start conversation. I took my dark sunglasses off and set them in my pocket. Something definately felt different tonight.

Playing one of our shows one night, I came across a beautiful blonde German bird. She was married but I couldn't stop myself from gravitating towards her. Her name was Astrid and and she ended up hanging out with me, Pete, John and George. I was taken by her presence. John looked on bitterly. Later on, when we were back at our rooms, late at night, I laid on my back, facing the ceiling. John was on the bunk bed below me.

"What do you think of her, John? Astrid, I mean?"

I feared the conversation since John and I had been going steady for about a full year.

The boys and I arrived in Hamburg again and it was cold still despite Spring being close. I was sniffling and sneezing already, thanks to the weather. Currently, John and I were in each others' arms, remembering how everything started with us. My face and skin grew warm thinking about it. We had already been together in much secret for 2 years or so. Amazingly, no one found out. I grabbed a tissue and coughed into it, cringing when I saw the contents and walked to the garbage to throw it out. The clubs we played provided shitty rooming and no heat. Just crappy bunk beds. I coughed again and crawled back into bed, pulling the blanket up.

"Those were good times, John.. heh"

I smiled at the thought. "I fucking knew you were it when I first saw you.

I sat in class with my sketchbook, still keeping fairly quiet. So far my work wasn't too bad but there was room for improvement, There was this other lad who was decent at drawing but I wasn't sure of his name. He was a bit of an arse and a talker. I shivered as the winter air crept through the cracks in the windows and I bundled up in my jacket more. I couldn't keep my eyes off the other guy. Despite his weird personality, he interested me and did some good work. I was too shy to approach him so I just studied him from afar.

I've known that Stu had been writing to John for a long time now from Germany. His letters would be ten pages long sometimes! He had been very ill the last couple of months and i'm afraid that darling Stuart didn't send anything over the sea. He had collapsed in his art class again and mother and I ran over to see the matter. I was with him when they took him in the ambulence.

Now John was coming back here for some shows with his band and I was to meet him.

We still had an hour to kill before Astrid met up so John and I just had drinks at my place. "Don't tell Astrid about my episode, ok? I don't want her to worry" I explained.

I poured myself a drink and sat down on the sofa. "Thanks for being there, though."

I turned the telle on and took comfort in John's presence. "Maybe i'll stay a while"

I had arrived in Liverpool for the first time in a while. Astrid wanted to meet my family before we got married so we both set out on doing so. I let John know I was comming home in a letter about a month ago so I knew he would meet me at the airport. I had left the Beatles and started attending Hamburg's art school. A new life was on the horizon. My headaches were worse now, leaving me sometimes temporarily blind and I had a hard time debating on if I shoud tell John or not. I would tell him but not now.


"John!" I yelled, throwing my arms around him. "I missed you. How is the band doing??"

hello.
my name is Stuart.